I sometimes think I want to go back in time to see how my foreparents lived and how they managed various aspects of their lives, but this year I just want to stop time for a month or two. After surgery in November I learned that I've joined the ranks of several of my ancestors who battled cancer. (Body parts and a tumor were removed. A subsequent CT scan didn't reveal cancer cells in other organs but the oncologist won't declare me cancer-free for five years -- after check-ups and tests every four months.) Though the surgery was not a major one (compared to a hip replacement) it's left me with little energy, either physical or mental. I thought if I could stop time, I would be able to rest and recuperate then prepare for, participate in, and enjoy all the activities and celebrations of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the New Year. (I know: I'm a wishful thinker.)
This experience turned my thoughts to three ancestors who battled cancer. My mom survived breast cancer but her paternal grandmother succumbed to skin cancer (which I assume spread to other organs). And my paternal grandfather died of colon cancer. I didn't live near my mom when she was battling cancer and don't have any specific memories of her experience. And my two grandparents died before I was born. When they were first diagnosed did they think (like me) that their bodies had betrayed them? How did they react? Were they fearful, resigned, optimistic of overcoming? How did they carry on? What hope did the doctors give them of overcoming, especially in the early 1900s? What options were there to fight cancer in the early 1920s and early 1930s? I'll never know but still I wonder.
I can neither stop nor jump back in time and Christmas will come whether I'm ready or not, so I'll just continue on, expecting that I'll feel more like my healthy self as the days pass.
I hope you are having a happy, healthy Christmas season.
--Nancy.
Copyright © 2009-2015 Nancy Messier. All Rights Reserved.
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Thinking of you and wishing you a Happy Holiday!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dorene. I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas!
DeleteHi Nancy, Merry Christmas to you! I am sorry to hear of your Cancer, we are lucky now a days we can keep it at bay or in check sometimes. I wish you the very best outcome. I think all your different emotions are normal...sending good thoughts your way:)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Far Side. It is a slow-growing cancer so I'm hoping for the best. Merry Christmas to you!
DeleteIt's definitely interesting to think about how ancestors might have dealt with illnesses.
ReplyDeleteEspecially interesting because research and technology were so much less than they are now. I suppose, though, that emotions were similar.
DeleteNancy, I'm very sorry to hear of your Cancer, such a dreadful illness. I hope you had a pleasant Christmas, with lots of family and friends, and wish you a speedy return to good health.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dara. We had a quiet, pleasant Christmas -- just what I needed.
DeleteI wish you and your family a Happy New Year!
Oh Nancy - I am distressed to even hear that word. I'm sorry that you have to face this trial. I'm glad the prognosis seems to be good and pray for your health and strength! I'm thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kathleen. I was surprised to hear the diagnosis but pleased that it's a slow-growing cancer and that, hopefully, with the removal of the tumor the possibility of cancer has been removed, too. But there is always that shadow lurking in the background. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I appreciate them.
DeleteHappy New Year to you and your family.