Sunday, December 9, 2018

What to Do about Raymond

Raymond Doyle has once again been on my mind.  I always think of him at Christmas but this time he came to mind when The 70273 Project crossed my path a few months ago.  It is a quilting effort to commemorate 70,273 of the infants, children, and adults who were killed by Nazis because they were physically or mentally disabled.  How could I not think of Raymond?  He would likely have been put to death had he lived in Germany during Hitler's reign. 

I'm not sure where to place Raymond in my family tree, or even whether to add him yet.  In the 1910 U.S. Census he is recorded as "adopted son" in the family of my great-grandparents, William and Tressa Doyle.  That and the fact that throughout his life he used the surname Doyle are my only indications that there may have been a legal adoption.

I forgot that I had asked an older, distant Doyle cousin about Raymond a number of years ago.  I found her letter the other evening.  Lyda Kelly Brest, the one generally thought to be the holder of family history among generations of Doyles, responded to my questions about Raymond.  This is what she wrote about him in January, 2011.  (I had asked if the reasons Raymond had been adopted by my great-grandparents was because his parents had been killed in a fire.  I was trying to imagine the reasons why parents would give up a child.  My daughter just reminded me of the stigma associated with a special needs child at that time.)  "Uncle Bill" refers to William Doyle, my great-grandfather and her great-uncle.  Hazel is his daughter, sister to my grandfather, Gust Doyle.  Lyda's "Grandma" was Elizabeth Jane Doyle, William's sister.
No, I do not remember Raymond, but heard my Grandma speak of him.  He was of the Page family in Stoneboro.  Uncle Bill's daughter Hazel took a liking to him & it was through her they took him to raise.  He definetly [sic] was limited & was in Polk Institution a great part of his life, as far as I know.  I never heard of his family being in a fire.  Uncle Bill was very frugal, & [I] was always surprised at him getting involved with Raymond, but Hazel apparently won him over.

Without proof (yet) of Raymond's formal adoption and now (tentatively) knowing his surname of birth, I'm still in a quandary about whether to add Raymond to my tree or create one for him with his family of birth.  Perhaps the best choice at the moment is to continue research.  It seems clear to me that Raymond wants his records to be found and to be placed with a family.  After living with my great-grandparents through his youth, then living the rest of his life in a state home "for the feeble-minded," I can imagine his joy at having his records associated with his family.  But which one?

And as strange as it may be, I think of Raymond as family.  Not exactly a great uncle, because though an adult in years he never quite matured to adulthood, but a family member, nonetheless.

Raymond has been the subject of two previous blog posts, here and here.

--Nancy.

Copyright ©2018, Nancy Messier.  All Rights Reserved. 
Do not copy or use any content from this blog without written permission from the owner. 

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17 comments:

  1. I read the three posts about Raymond, and I can see why he weighs on your mind as someone who was welcomed into your family and loved. I hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for.

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    1. Thank you, Liz. I hope I can find the rest of his story, too.

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  2. I hope your research leads you to answers about Raymond #geneabloggerstribe

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  3. I love the sentiment that you feel, that Raymond is eager to be associated with his family, and I do hope you are able to do so one day.
    Sue (kindredpast.com)

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    1. Thank you, Sue. I hope I can find adoption papers and a death record for him!

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  4. I understand your feeling about Raymond. My grandmother took in three foster children during the Great Depression, but one little boy must have stolen their hearts because my father and both of his brothers have asked me to look him up. He is listed in their household in the 1930 census, but I have not found out anything further on this little guy. It's still a mystery.

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    1. Oh, that's heart-breaking to have "lost" the little fellow, Heather. I'm sure you've searched every possible source and way you can but I hope that sometime in the future you'll find some bit of information that leads you to him. The heartstrings pull....

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  5. Whether or not he's officially on the pedigree chart, Raymond is connected to your family's tree. The fact that the family "took in" Raymond says so much about the kind of people they were. I'm glad you keep writing about him.

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    1. Thank you, Laura. I hope I am able to find enough of the story to learn when he moved from my great-grandparents' home and perhaps why. Raymond is definitely connected to us.

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    2. Laura stole the thoughts that I had. He's family because your family made him so.

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    3. Thank you. Yes, Raymond is definitely family, Devon.

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  6. Love your posts about Raymond! I have a similar situation in my DH's family. His 2xGG and 5 kids were abandoned by her hubby in the early 1900s. Legal adoption as we know it didn't exist. She placed the 2 older ones (my DH's 2xGG and a brother) in an orphanage and the 3 littles went witha family we recently learned were their Godparents! All 3 kids used the Godparent's last name throughout their lives. I have yet to find these 3's birth certificates and they all claim on their vitals to have been born in Illinois, but my MIL says all 5 were born in Pennsylvania. Illinois is where they lived when their mom died and the got "adopted" by the Godparents. I've added them under their birth parents but also added "foster parents" and put them under them as well. My MIL is pleased with that.

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    1. Thank you, SuzAnn. How awful to be abandoned! And what an interesting trail these little ones had. I hope you're able, somehow, to find the birth information for your husband's great-great-grandmother. It's had when we have to search several states. That's good you've recorded both birth and adoptive parents.

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  7. My gg grandparents seemed to have had a couple of “adopted” children, but I know for a fact that the family of the one adopted son lived nearby. I think it was just an arrangement, not a legal adoption. The birth family had a large number of children, so perhaps they were poor. I admire your effort to get Raymond’s story right. Succeed or fail, you have still brought his life into the light.

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    1. I think I need to search for Raymond's (supposed) family of birth and see if I can find where they lived and how many children there were. Now that the holidays are over I'll get more serious about my search for Raymond's beginnings and any adoption information I can find. I don't suppose adoptions were mentioned in newspapers of the time, were they?

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